The love supreme

15.2.08

...update..

Im back at work.... and its been just what the dr ordered..... its great to be back with my team (I missed them).... I feel supported...and there are always lots of light hearted moments....

I was surprised to find I was tired though.... so tired ....I was in bed before the sun went down (like an old chook).... my stamina has dropped... and I'm trying not to push it.

Luckily I was shined upon from above... my shifts have been reasonably quiet.... not too much lifting.... not too much of anything.... I'm finding the strength in my left arm is still building.....its the silly things that are the most difficult.... like pulling the passenger door closed.....its such a big door....and with a bit of breeze against it...its heavy...and I just don't have the power.... but it will come back.... and Im sure Ill be slamming it shut again in no time.

My trip to Adelaide Monday was a big day.....an early start... lots of apprehension....a migrainish headache.... a sick to the pit of my stomach kind of day.
Im so thankful Ian was able to take the day off to take me.... I just needed him... and he... as always...knew exactly how to treat my mood.

I met my Oncologist...and my treatment plan was outlined.... by this stage I had an enormous headache....I needed water....needed coffee....food... to go home....just to be someone else.
So the long and short of it.....I am to have Chemotherapy and Hormone therapy....beginning next Thursday.

I quite liked my Oncologist....she outlined everything clearly... not too deeply...but conscisely....then sat back and asked for questions....probably thinking she would clear it all up as we asked our questions...... but I was blank.....seriously blank....I couldnt think of anything to say at all.... I looked at Ian... he looked at me....we said thankyou.... and left.

.. half an hour later.... a million questions arose... why these drugs? ...why this long?.....why?...why?....why? ...we both have a list of unanswered questions.....so this Thursday before my first treatment we have another oppurtunity to get our answers.

I feel unsettled about it....Im poison phobic.... I cant even tolerate fly spray... or cigarette smoke....so imagine my absolute panic at what is to come.....but the alternative is not that rosey either..... so Ill draw strength from everywhere....and go for it.

There is however an upside..... Ill lose my hair...my mousey... fine...bed hed'ish hair... and it just may....if Im very lucky....grow back thick and luscious..... something Ive always longed for....

and in the mean time.... lets just hope hats are big this winter.... bright...funky hats.

Ohh....and Miss Jane has an update at Crafty Matters..... check it out....once again there are some beautiful projects showcasing the cutest little ceramics..... and I did a layout too.... me and my Mitty Moo...

Have an awesome weekend.... x

18 comments:

  1. Hi Mardi,
    Good to see that you are back at work.Thinking of you while you have your treatment it is amazing what life throws our way but with you fantastic attitude that you have i'm sure you will come threw it with flying colours.Just think all the cute headbands that you can buy lol.Take care Kerry xx

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  2. Anonymous10:58 am

    Hi mardi. I have been thinking of you latley and how everything has been moving along for you. I always say to my self that 'everything happens for a reason'. sometimes its difficult to see what reasons some thing happen to us for. but I firmly believe god only gives us what we each can handle. I would love to catch up with some scrappin sometime when your up for it. I put my hand up for some hat shoppin too if you need company! Your one very very beautiful lady Mardi.

    Love Lisa. (renmark) xx

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  3. Hi Mardi...You may not know it, but you are an inspiration. You are so strong, so human...so REAL! You have been in my thoughts. Love and prayers coming to you from up here in Brissy girl. This will all be a memory one day!
    xxJillGG

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  4. And you will look so darned cute in a hat too :)

    Hugs

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  5. Oh I agree with Kathie! We'll need to get you some gorgeous, funky, spunky hats! :0)
    Don't forget your list of questions for the Dr next time. I hate it when I'm asked a question and my mind goes blank too!grrr!
    Catch up with you soon
    xxTammy

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  6. Glad to hear you are enjoying your time back at work.....just remember to not over do it.

    Good luck with the start of your treatment, I am sure there are heaps of funky stylish hats that will look gorgeous on you.

    Take care, stay strong
    Cherie xx

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  7. PS. I tagged you. Check out my blog.

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  8. good luck Mardi with everything, you are in my thoughts constantly. hopefully everything regarding the treatment goes well and is over quickly. im praying that you dont loose your hair, so you wont even need a hat, although a beanie can always work, just tell people your off to the snow lol

    Megan xx

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  9. Anonymous5:15 pm

    Hey Mardi

    Will be thinking of you as you go through your first treatment. It guess it is one of those necessary evils and I'm praying that the side effects won't be too bad for you.

    I'm always up for a little trip so if stuff starts getting to you and you need a bit of distraction let me know.

    Much love

    Allie x

    PS: have popped something in the post today. I hope it gets to you before next Thursday

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  10. So great to hear that you're enjoying being back at work! I was thinking of you Monday when you went for your appt...I'm hoping and praying that your treatment goes well and the side effects aren't too bad for you. I'm sure there are so many cool hats out there that you'll look fantastic in!

    Have a great weekend!
    Sheree xx

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  11. I bet you've secretly always wanted to try a supershort hairstyle but never been game enough to cut all your hair off. In a while that's what you'll have. A funky trendy new crop. :)

    Yeah I'm sure that doesn't help. It must be scary thinking about putting that "stuff" into your body.

    A big warm hug for you. oxoxo

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  12. Glad to hear that you have gone back to work. Just don't over do it.

    I am sure you will look cute in a hat too.

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  13. If anyone is going to make hats look fashionable, it's you-super cool chick!! Glad to hear you are at work again-I found that it took my mind off things too.
    A big, fat hug from me.
    Hxxxxx

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  14. Anonymous7:52 pm

    Still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending lots of positive vibes and good luck for your upcoming treatments.

    I know your going to get through this because your a very strong person and you have so many people supporting you and wishing all the best for you xxoo

    Love this latest layout you have created. The photo is fantastic and the journaling is perfect.

    Take care at work and don't get too overtired.

    Bye for now, sending lots of hugs and kisses from your friend Susan (smiles1965) at Scrapboxx.

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  15. all the best for your treatment...I just know you will get through it fine....and my fingers are 'doubley' crossed for you to get the Hair that you always dreamed off..giggle

    take care babe...

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  16. Glad to read your enjoying being back at work Mardi.
    I'm sending all the goodluck, get well quickly vibes I have for the next round of treatment.
    I'm going to diddo Jill's comment - you really are an inspiration you know Mardi - your strong, your focused and your so down to earth and honest - you have such a great attitude and outlook and this will help you get through such a hard time.
    Have been thinking about you and I hope tackle this next stage with guns blazing .....cute hat and all.

    take care chicky and get plenty of rest

    Julie xx

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  17. Anonymous9:09 pm

    Hi Mardi, my thougts and heart are always with you. You are such a strong chicky babe! Love your LO of you and your son shine! You are gonna look gorgeous with your hat collection and we want to see lots of LO's in all your different hats - will hold you to that. Take care and sending you lots of sunshine and rainbows. Love Court :) xx

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  18. Hi Mardi,
    I only just found your blog. I am so sorry to hear of your sickness, and I wish you a speedy recovery and hope your treatment goes quickly. Sending you all my happy thoughts and best wishes,
    Deb Mullins
    (former scrapboxx DT competition chick LOL...if you don't remember me).

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