The love supreme

18.6.08

Blogging...

...its a bit like my life... behind.
In fact....Ive thought about blogging a few times this week...but so much has happened....I didn't (still don't) even know where to begin...so it was easier to avoid it altogether.
and...I have this 'thing' about it at the moment....
I love that people take interest and read it... its nice to think people appreciate what I have to say....and I especially love to share the things I create... I get a huge buzz from the lovely comments and feedback....but I'm also aware that more and more people are reading it... and I'm beginning to feel like I have stage fright ....I feel too aware that it is being read....I liked it when I felt anonymous.

But thats just a reflection of me this week...... I'm in a mood... I feel like I live in a rut....days are blurring into weeks....weeks into months.... things that wouldn't normally...are bugging me.

I'm frustrated by my lack of motivation...I have a to-do list as long as my arm... but I make no progress.......my mind constantly whirs with ideas for projects....decorating ideas...plans for the garden...but the balance is all wrong.... I add more to this list than I manage to cross off... that frustrates me.

The weekly chemo / work schedule seems endless at the moment....I long for more time at home....(and yet....if you ask Ian....I have plenty of time at home...more than most...but it doesn't feel that way)... that frustrates me.

My eating/exercise habits are naughty again....and even though I feel so much better when I do the right thing....I'm unmotivated...and that frustrates me.

I don't feel creative....I have things due....deadlines looming...and I want to create...I truly do....but I just feel empty at the moment...that frustrates me.

I could go on and on....but I think you probably get the gist....its just my mood....

I do however feel very grateful for lots of things too....like...

*The most beautiful happy mail this week.....which I will share in another post....
* The visit from Mum and Dad.... we had a fabulous couple of weeks...and between them they did mange to cross quite a few things off my to-do list...and I'm so happy about that.
Mum also took over the cooking and washing...which freed up some time for me to get a few projects done too.... like the feature wall in Brionys room...the padded noticeboard....and the patchwork cushion on her bed... oh...and I just love the look of the mirror tiles Dad put up.....you can see them in the second photo...
* having family over for dinner.....a lovely visit from Andrew, Petrina, Jack and Jorja.... we hadn't seen them in so long... and seeing the kids was especially wonderful..... such a pity we live so far apart... I know our kids really miss them too.

* having friends over for dinner.... a wonderful Sunday night with Keryn, Darryl, Daniel, Hannah and Kari....and quite a few laughs at the girls on the Wii

* Ian's progress in the yard.... the fence is almost complete...the last side has now got the rails up...and the panels can go up in a few days.... all the yard is now level....and we are getting a second quote in the pergola.

So what else happened this week or so...

I developed a cold... which went straight to my chest....I was a little concerned for a day or so....but its on the improve now...just in time for chemo tomorrow...

I set the weekly challenge at the Boxx....so if you are looking for a challenge this week...this could be it....

Ohh...and I did scrap a few layouts on the weekend..... firstly this one for the 'Whisper challenge' at Scrapboxx......and another ...just for fun...
I promise a much cheerier post next time.
Half debating about deleting this post..... but then...Id only procrastinate even longer over the next....so take it for what it is..

15 comments:

  1. Hi Mardi, Keep your chin up, I know how frustrating it is to have a long "to do" list - I am trying to plough thru mine at work before holidays but I just seem to cross one off and add 2 more, but anyway we can all only do what we can and everything else will wait for another day - We only have 10 sleeps to go and then we will help cross some things off your list - We are all so excited about coming down - we will pack our winter woolies, Briony's room looks fab. Love from QLD

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  2. jane fitchett9:14 pm

    hi there mardi :)
    you know, i feel like that alot of the time :P head is always buzzng with the to-do stuff, and i dont end up getting very far at all- it will sort itself out im sure !! and i see youre getting some very special visitors soon too-

    all the best for the next chemo session, another one crossed off the list, youre getting closer to the finishing line all the time.

    i have to say i am totally blown away with Brionys room, she must be rapt- i think i might have a go at a cushion like that for Chloes room - i have the pattern somewhere. love the colour of her wall too.

    take care,and im really glad you didnt delete your post
    xx
    j

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  3. Ah, hugs. I imagine that there's a lot of stuff going on in that head of yours at the moment. The chemo must knock you around, not to mention take up a lot of time. No wonder you're feeling frustrated. You're allowed :). We're here for you whether you're happy or sad, laughing or crying. Please feel our support and feel lifted up on it. xx Kathie

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  4. OMG - ESP! I was just thinking 'Haven't seen a blog post from Mardi in awhile' and there you have it...Mr bloglines delivered! ;)

    You can be frustrated whenever you wish - I don't mind listening to it at all!

    I bet you long for your shift work - days at home with no noise and free to do what you wish in the day. Those days will come back - sooner than you think...;)

    LOVE Briony's room. Madelin would LOVE that! Maybe Briony could come and live with us - so then Madelin would get off my back about seeing her again! pmsl

    Love the layouts! I need a good challenge - might take you up on that one! I don't see any 12 x12 's around lately (oh accept one at your house I think...hehe.) Does this mean you are fully converted! *insert evil laugh here*

    Hope things go well tomorrow. Always thinking of you!

    MWAH...
    Belinda
    xxxx

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  5. Ooh crap! That was a long comment...haha! Oops...;)

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  6. Hi Mardi! Hang in there... things will get back to normal eventually.

    I have to say I LOVE how Briony's room has turned out! The colours are so fresh and gorgeous! (Love that patchwork cushion too you clever thing!) She must be rapt with how it turned out!

    Sending you big warm fuzzy (((hugs)))!!

    Sheree xx
    PS Awesome layout!

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  7. Hey there missy. We all have those down moments and you do have a lot going on by the sounds of it too.

    Love the look of Briony'sroom and your pages too.

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  8. Mardi you have done such a great job of Briony's room i love the colours and the cushion looks fab.I hope all goes well for you tommorow as another bites the dust.Hugs to you.take care Kery xx

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  9. Oh Mardi you poor thing, feeling the way you do is not fun at all but I think if you think about the rollercoaster your life has been on over the past 6 months you are quite entitled to feel the way you do.
    Scrapbooking and blogging are a fantastic part of our lives but your health and wellbeing are so much more important.
    Enjoy all the things you are grateful for.
    Take care.

    Cherie xx

    Almost forgot, LOVE Brionys room, it beautiful...
    Great layouts too.xx

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  10. Anonymous1:48 pm

    Your human and we humans have many different moods. Everything your feeling is perfectly normal and many of us can relate I'm sure.

    It's great you can weigh up the good with the bad and see there are positive results happening around you even if somedays you feel frustrated.

    I love Brionys bedroom, so fresh and bright. Perfect for a teenage girl, well done. I bet she loves it too.

    Thinking of you as you have another chemo session. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. Keep smiling sweetie :)

    Love from Susan (smiles1965) xxxooo

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  11. Oh Mardi Moo I feel for you. Hey, that rhymes! For starters - I can't believe Ian thinks you have plenty of time at home! I'm so exhausted for you my lovely friend! I am just hoping that these next few weeks go quickly for you.

    And I wanted to say that I just LOVE Briony's room - it looks like it's out of a mag. I LOVE the feature wall, love all the colours. And the layout you did about her room is divine!!!

    Keep your gorgeous chin up Mardi - I'm always thinking of you. :)

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  12. Anonymous3:16 pm

    hey mardi, um i hope this reaches you...its carly. I read your blogs every day at school so please dont ever stop. Even people in my class read them with me. Well if this reaches you i will writ more next time. Love you and wish i could see you love carly

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  13. Hi Mardi

    I am a new reader of your blog, but I just wanted you to know that I sat here yesterday and spent 2.5 ours reading it all! I cried with you, and laughed at you, and felt your pain.

    Hang in there- you are inspiring a lot of people with your courage and determination, and you are certainly allowed to have days where you just feel..... crap!

    Love
    Narelle

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  14. Hi Mardi,
    Sorry I missed this post sweetie...my rss feed suck at the mo LOL!

    feel free to feel frustrated. You are stronger than you know! Every Thurday I mention to hubby that you'll be down at the FMC and I am always amazed at your strength.
    I will try and give you a buzz tomorrow?
    Take care
    xxTam

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  15. Oh Mardi, just catchin up on your blog ... I love your gorgeous layouts you clever thing! I can understand pressure though. :( HUGS re your bad news day ... wish I could wave my magic wand for you. xxx
    P.S. Briony's hair looks great BTW!

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