The love supreme

9.4.10

Feeling decidedly mediocre ...

Does that title even make sense?...not certain it does actually....
But anyway.....I am!

Its ridiculous really.....I'm sure that tomorrow Ill wake and wont even feel this way...

I'm just momentarily tired of feeling average.... a little tired of being one of those 'blend in'....'unremarkable people' ... a 'jack of all trades' who is unfortunately not that outstanding at anything!

Im tired of bumping into people through my work....people Ive known for 6 years or more.....who still dont call me by name....or possibly even know it....

Im tired of trying my hardest to be 'everything' that is expected of me....and yet getting no recognition that Ive even tried....

and the worst bit is.....I feel so darn guilty for even feeling this way.....I always try so hard to work on positives....I make time to be thankful for all the blessings I have in my life .....and I try to see the upside of every situation.... Im sure on any other day Id just shrug my shoulders and think "it doesnt matter"....but just for today "It DOES matter"....and Im allowing myself to sook...

Ill be back to chirpiness and the regular old Mardi tomorrow...

11 comments:

  1. Oh Mardi, I would never forget your name, your are one of the sweetest, kindest and most remarkable ladies I have ever met. I bet you have more people than you will ever realise who also think you are truly remarkable...

    Huggs to your gorgeous Mardi

    Cherie xoxoxoxo

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  2. Anonymous3:30 pm

    Hi Mardi, your not alone with your feelings, I have the odd day here and there feeling exactly the same way and as you have said tomorrow you will probably be feeling totally different, which is exactly what happens. Thanks for posting your feelings and showing your true self, I appreciate your honesty.
    Lorraine

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  3. Oh Mardi! I'm so sad that you would be so down. I wish I could give you a big ol' hug!

    You are not mediocre. Not by a long shot. You are magnificent! I think you're magnificent.

    Those people at your work? It's THEIR issue, not yours if they can't remember your name.

    Sending you cheering up thoughts and wishing I was closer (and that I wasn't always working when you were nearer!)

    xx

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  4. Right Mardi Jane...I wish I was in SA instead of QLD because I would tell you off right about now....you are not "mediocre" or "ordinary" in any way...you are a wonderful nurse and paramedic...you are an amazing wife and mother and now grandmother...you are the best friend in the world....and you are the most inspiring, nice, wonderful, warm, funny, helpful, clever, crafty, loving, gorgeous person I know...you rock.....enough with sooking....your have done some incredible things in your life and I love you to bits.....

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  5. Hey Mardi...I might have been a bit harsh....sorry....we are all allowed an off day...but you are incredible still.....luv ya

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  6. I feel like that a bit. And sometimes it bogs me down totally and I feel like hiding away where it does not matter. Hope you come through the other side soon, but if not dont worry we will all keep watch and remind you of how unmediocre you truly are.

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  7. Mardi as the girls say...you are so not mediocre, i wish sometimes that we were friends more than in the aquaintance that we are now, sometimes i feel im not worthy of people and friendships...i sometimes feel the same way that you do and sometimes wish for more. Its human nature Mardi and it is okay to feel this way. I think of you often and when i see Ian doing his rounds in my town i give myself a little smile and wonder how you are, so to me you arent mediocre at all. You are very inspiring and im sorry that you are having a down day. Hugs coming your wayxx

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  8. Oh Mardi... we all have off days like this...I've been there myself...and that's ok... it's only natural. But you know..I think you're truly amazing! You're a fabulous Mum and grandparent, kind and caring, super clever, a beautiful friend and an all round wonderful person!!! Sending you huge cyber (((HUGS))) and wishing I could give you one in person!!!! I hope you wake up tomorrow feeling a happier.:)

    Sheree xx

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  9. Anonymous9:57 pm

    Hi Mardi
    You are so not mediocre! Your spirit shines like a beacon and you touch others in ways you will never know. You are warm and caring and I told Kim when I met you how "hug-able" I thought you were! (is that a word I wonder?) Your strength is your honesty, your gentleness, your wisdom. Everything you want to be you already are! Hugs from Peggy x

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  10. Wow, you summed exactly how I feel somedays. I feel I put my all into everything I do and I still don't come out on top. I feel i'm lagging behind everyone and my kids are too. I feel somedays that I'm not like everyone else and I ask myself why and get depressed about it and feel very flat. But I think we all have bad days and I too feel better the next day or sometimes it takes a couple of days to get out of the doldrums. But reading your blog Mardi you have alot to be thankful for. Just go back and read your blogs and see what you have achieved and the good things that are in your life. You may felt mediocre this day but today and tomorrow you'll be back on top. You're a special person Mardi and I love reading about you and your wonderful family and life. Thanks for sharing. Hugs to you xx Sue

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  11. Anonymous7:18 pm

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